Tina in Toyland – Excerpt – *Must be 18 or over*


Years of friendship later, we walked into Babeland together. I was overwhelmed by the huge selection. It was such a far cry from the sleazy places where I had previously tried unsuccessfully to buy something. Babeland reminded me of a Sharper Image for adult entertainment.

Kat was a whiz at sex toys. She grabbed a huge dick from a shelf displaying silicone penises of all shapes, sizes, colors, and hardness. She held a fully erect cock up to her crotch.

“Yeah, this one could work.”

My heart thudded in my chest and I was in desperate need of a drink.

She then took a sexy leather harness off the wall rack, placed it in front of her pelvis, and playfully thrust her hips. “Do you like this one?”

My face grew as hot as my nether regions. I wouldn’t allow myself to envision her naked while pulling the same stunt. Now I really needed a drink.

“So, what’ll it be, T?”

“I don’t know. What should I get?”

“Depends on what you’re looking for.” Once again, she held up the strap-on. “How about this?”

I rolled my eyes. “Greg has a real one of those, remember?”

“But you don’t. Come on, admit it. You’re dying to ride him for a change.”

“Okay, I always wondered what it’d be like. Happy? But you know as well as I that he would never, ever take it up the butt.”

“Then you need to show him ‘Bend Over Boyfriend,’” she said and swiftly walked to the DVD case by the checkout counter.

My guffaw attracted the attention of two women who were obviously a couple. Kat put the DVD back, took my hand, and led me to the vibrators. She soon had me losing my inhibitions and intent on buying just the right one.

She held a Pocket Rocket and put it up to where I imagined her clitoris would be. “This is a tried and true favorite.”

“Cut it out,” I whispered, looking around, “Or I’ll climax right here.”

“How cruel. You’d make me miss the fun of touching you myself?”

The Rocket vibrated in her hand. I reached to turn it off.

“Promises, promises.” She caught my wink.



“Touché, but admit it, you love when I joke around.”

I sighed. Our eyes locked as I ran my finger along her cheek. Kat pressed my hand to her face. Then, as usual, the moment ended. And we still hadn’t decided on the toy I should buy.

I finally settled on the Rock Chick. Had I known what I had missed all my life by not owning Rockie, I never would have waited. When we left, I was beaming like Charlie with the golden ticket. If Willy Wonker could only see my now. I couldn’t wait to try out my new toy, and wondered when I wouldn’t have my kids buzzing around me like bees to honey, so I could have some privacy.

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